Lillie Ammann, writer & editor, on her blog A Writer’s Words, An Editor’s Eye poses an interesting question about finding the right balance in life. I’m honored that she tagged me for a response, but I’m not sure that my answer will be as meaningful as perhaps Lillie had hoped.
I love gymnastics — in fact I used to be a pretty good tumbler myself. Believe it or not, this photo is of me in my younger days, practicing my back layout in the high school gym. I thought nothing of throwing myself through the air upside down, in fact I enjoyed it more than anything else during those years. As easily as I could throw a backflip on the floor, I never tried it on the balance beam. The thought of having only a four-inch strip of wood to land on made something I could do in my sleep seem terrifying. I never had faith enough in my own ability to plant my feet exactly where they needed to land.
It took a lot of concentration and energy to walk that thin line between standing and falling. I knew that if I fell, at worst I could be seriously injured; at best I would be embarrassed. I believe that trying to maintain balance during difficult times is a lot like walking a balance beam; there is a lot at stake, and if you don’t keep your focus, you will surely fall. In this difficult time of our lives (my husband’s position was eliminated at the end of last year and he’s still searching for a job), I’ve simply tried to keep the focus where I know it should be and keep from falling on my head!
How do you achieve balance in your life?
My time decisions are really easy, given the fact that I know my youngest daughter will leave for college in just three years. She is in school during the day, so I leave that time open for church and volunteer work, meetings, Bible study, and just time for myself. After-school time is hers, and evenings are for family time, unless there is something very important that just cannot be scheduled any other time. She has an active social life, so my husband and I plan our own social outings around that.
What is your biggest challenge in balancing your life?
Wanting to do everything. I have such a wide variety of interests, I am often in danger of spreading myself too thin.
What are your priorities?
This one is easy. 1. My faith 2. My family 3. Friends 4. Professional development/career goals
How have your priorities changed over time and why?
The only time I can say my priorities have really changed was when I first got married and again when I had my first child. Becoming a wife and, later a mother, completely took the focus off of me in my life. When I was single, I spent every spare dollar on clothes, going out, whatever I wanted. Then I got married and had my daughter a little more than a year after that. Suddenly I didn’t care what I wore, but it mattered a lot that she had beautiful clothes. Sad to say, It was the first time in my life that I actually thought about someone else’s needs before my own.
Basically for the past 13 years I have pretty much focused on #1 and #2, doing the best I can with #3, and, for the most part, working #4 in around #1 – 3. I know that I’ll have time when my youngest daughter (now 15) goes to college in a few short years.
What advice can you share to help all of us balance our own lives?
I’m probably not the one to give advice on that; my life is in a bit of turmoil right now with my husband’s job situation. But my faith is literally sustaining me right now, and my focus has been to keep things going here at home so we can ride out this storm. I’m giving my 15-year-old as much of me as possible, as it has been such a hard year for her with her sister leaving for college and my husband’s job loss — trying to keep home stabilized and provide safety and security for her.
I guess my only advice would be to go back to priority #1 — keep your faith strong, and it will sustain you through anything, and keep you balanced when your circumstances are out of balance.
Thanks, Beth. This is a great post. Though like most of us, you want to do it all, you have your priorities straight. I really like your last sentence.